With a little help from my friends.........

Tonight's post was supposed to about software, but the day's events have brought about a change.
First, I want to say thank you to all the people who've been there for me over the years. To all the people who've held me up through crisises great and small. To the ones who made me find worth in myself when even I died it. Without some of you, I likily wouldn't be alive. Without others, I might be even more bitter and lost. and in some cases, I just wouldn't have laughed nearly as much or as hard. Since most people this is meant for won't read this (though if you're reading this, you're likely one of them) pass it on to those who should read it.

Though you all deserve thanking just because there is a point to all this. Because people have done so much to support me, I feel the need and the desire to do the same for them. How the fuck did you do it? I find myself so inept at this, managing to do nothing but listen and deliever the same platitudes over and over again. When someone really needs your help and there's nothing you can do, it inspires such a feeling of helplessness, which makes me depressed. I've discovered there's a causal chain of support systems. My attempting to support someone leads to my leaning on someone else etc. Life would be some much simpler, if we could just take on the pain of those we love. I find it much easier to bear pain than to see others bear it. What they don't tell you about scrafice is you don't get to do it when you most want to.
People tell me, how in times like this, they put their trust in their faith. How is there not an inherent contradiction in that? Shouldn't the "everything will work out" faith keep the awful things from happening in the first place? Note that I'm taking about external "nautral events", so the usual theodicy of free will won't work.
I suppose all I have left to put my trust in is the tenacity of the human spirit.
I have to give a demo of my useless project for "CS day" tomorrow, so I need to at least try and sleep (I won't).
thought for the day: transitive depression sucks
feel free to leave encouragement/advice/humor/empathy
-CI
postscriptum: You guys do great on the "getting by " part. Some help on the "getting high" part